Popping in

I broke a plateau recently, finally made it just under 140lbs :). As it stands I've lost a total of 19 pounds this year, lots of ups and downs but still 19 pounds I can no longer claim as mine. It feels good.

This I am

I'm stuck on a plateau, and I hate to leave the blog hanging. I've been mindful of it every week and frustrated that I'm fluctuating in the same weight range. I'm thinking about posting progress pictures instead but that's going to take some courage, I haven't built it up yet.

I'll be back, I'm still working toward a goal that I'm too weak to reach. Just yet.

Inching my way to my goal

Weigh in - 06/24/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 143.4lbs

Weight lost: 3.2lbs

This is getting to be tedious work! But on I go, and on I will continue to go.

Next week I'll be on vacation starting on Thursday so there will be no weigh in on 07/01/11. I'm thinking about changing my weigh-in day to Wed for the next couple of weeks so I can keep tracking weekly... that's a thought. We shall see. The Wednesday after my vacation is going to be scary to get on that scale... unless I change my weigh in day to Friday again by then... I'm so simple sometimes 8-).

Note to self: Cut back on Friday Happy Hour!... after the holiday!

...

Weigh in - 06/17/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 143.8lbs

Weight lost: 2.8lbs

:)
:(

Back and forth, one emotion to the next. All. Day. Long.

Grrr...

Weigh in - 06/10/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 144.6lbs

Weight lost: 2lbs

I'm so disgusted I couldn't bring myself to post this damn entry. It's been almost two months and as of last week I have two pounds to show. Two. Sigh.

... from my goal "/



Back to life... Back to reality...

Weigh in - 06/03/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 143.2lbs

Weight lost: 3.4lbs

It looks like today and last Friday got transposed :p. In reality though, I went to New York on a four day vacation this past week and it was, as usual, a time to celebrate with family and food and drinks. I did very good on the food but not on the drinks. And I have been neglecting my water intake. Again.

My mom had to fix a pair of shorts for me because they were falling off me. Elation is a good word to describe how that felt. Ah, the little things that make this girl happy.

I'm getting a good hang on this, let's see what damage I can do in the next seven days. See you then!

Well...

Weigh in - 05/27/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 141.6lbs

Weight lost: 5lbs

This is definitely an improvement from last week. It didn't seem right so I moved the scale around several time and kept weighing myself, in the end I took a pic of it.


I did drink a lot of coffee one day this week though.












I'll expand on this post over the weekend, I'm in a rush!

Up up UP!

Weigh in - 05/20/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 145.0lbs

Weight lost: 1.6lbs

I could blame it on the insane bloating brought on by this **TMI WARNING** massive cycle, but I'll be honest with myself and admit that the slice of pizza near midnight didn't help earlier this week. I stayed within my points this week though, even though I didn't drink enough water. Oh well, I'm reluctant to give up. Even if I'm still frustrated to high hell.

Curse you PMS!

Weigh in - 05/13/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 144.8lbs

Weight lost: 1.8lbs

Almost a month and not even two pounds? Something's wrong here. Clothes are fitting loosely, my face looks slimmer, yet the damn scale refuses to budge. I'm hoping though that the reason I'm a whole pound up from last week is because I'm PMSing. I'm not stressing it -too much- though, I'm fitting clothes I hadn't fit in months so I'll just send daggers at the scale every time the numbers try to fuck with my head and keep on keeping on.

Of gluttony and other vices

Weigh in - 05/06/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 143.8lbs
Weight lost: 2.8lbs

Being on WW controls my carb intake, and I think that's making a big difference. I tend to make healthier choices because I don't want to surpass my allotted points for the day but I don't want to starve either. There was a day this week that I wanted to eat a burrito the size of my head --and I did, but that limited how much more I ate the rest of the day. I'm learning to detach myself from the gluttony the weighs me down (pun intended), I want to look at food as that which nourishes my body and provides it with energy. Of course I'll give in to guilty pleasures, I am human, but I think I'll be okay when I let the obsession go.

Motivation: Four months ago, on 01/06/11, I weighed 15 pounds more than I do today.

Down is better than up

Weigh in - 04/29/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 145.0lbs
Weight lost: 1.6lbs

I decided to add a tally of the total weight lost since the initial weigh-in, it helps to look at it like that. I was thinking I'd only lost a pound since last Friday... hm, I don't like how obsessive I'm getting about this again. I read a quote once, and a portion of it applies to my obsessing with my weight or just simply not giving a shit:

"Your choice is either black or white, not a shade of grade... [blah blah blah]... I'd rather be hot or cold than lukewarm."

Weigh-in

Weigh in - 04/22/11

Initial weight: 146.6lbs (04/20/11)

Today's weight: 146.0lbs

Today doesn't really count since I just re-joined the program two days ago, but my weigh-in day is Friday so I figured I'd post it to have an accurate weekly reading to compare to next week.

One more chance

I joined WeightWatchers again, I saw the most positive results on that program than on anything else I'd tried. I've also started exercising again; they have a fitness and health initiative at work and I've been working out once or twice a day in the office. I feel like I'm coming out of my rut and it's a good feeling. Some mornings I actually go walking for about an hour before work and that simply feels fantastic. So, here I go, again...

Initial weigh in - 04/20/11

Today's weight: 146.6lbs

Failing

Weigh in - 03/25/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 146.8lbs

I'm stuck in a plateau, what a pain in the ass. Next week marks the end of the 12 weeks on the WW program and I will not renew my account. At least not at the moment. I want to say I lost more than 11.6 lbs on it, but I don't know what will hapen in a week.

Feeling kind of lost really, I need to find motivation and drive again. But where?!

"/

Weigh in - 03/18/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 146.6lbs

Eleven days since the last [official] weigh-in and somehow I managed to squeeze back down to the same weight entry, instead of losing. Last weekend I threw caution to the wind as I went on a technology-free getaway trip down south. I ate, I slept, I relaxed, and then I ate some more.

I needed to get away though, and I'm glad I did... now to look for that dedication again *sigh*

I need to...

Sad face :(

Weigh in - 03/07/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 146.6lbs

Sigh sigh sigh... Here's what WW had to say about my weight gain:

WTFE "/

What da...

Weigh in - 02/28/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 145.4lbs

Um... so I got on the scale this morning and had to do a triple check. I was out of town last week and not really minding what I was eating, I wasn't pigging out at all but I wasn't really tracking my points either. I thought I'd gain weight, instead I found myself staring at the lowest number I've seen on weigh in days --and it's a Monday!

13 is my favorite number. Today, I am down exactly 13 pounds. Yaaahhh!!!

Creeping down...

Weigh in - 02/21/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 147.0lbs

I'm going to cave in and change my weigh in days to Fridays. I have too much water retention from the alcohol I'll invariably consume every weekend. I do so much better during the work week that it'll just be more impressive to show what the scale says on those days. I'm going out of town this week so I won't be home on Friday morning to start then. It'll have to wait until next week "/.

I took a snapshot of my Weight Statistics on the WW website, I think it's pretty neat:

That's all for now, and I'll stop bitching because 11.4lbs down is a pretty damn good accomplishment! :D

Damn you Monday weigh-ins

Weigh in - 02/14/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 147.8lbs

I went up a little bit from last week, but I partied hard this weekend. I mean, the whole weekend was a drunken haze, starting Friday at Happy Hour all the way until last night it seems. Keeping Mondays as my weigh in day really bit me in the ass but I did it to keep myself accountable and I've been on the program a little over 5 weeks, one minor slip-up is not going to cause a set-back. I'm still going strong, even if I'm cussing under my breath :).

And two more...

Weigh in - 02/07/11

Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)

Today's weight: 147.4lbs

**Happy Dance**

It's amazing how I've been weighing in at exactly x.4 the past couple of weeks. 11 pounds down, w00t w00t! I'm still hesitant to try on old clothes, but I went shopping recently and to my amazement I ended up buying a skirt two sizes smaller than the last time I went shopping at the same store. I was jumping up and down in that dressing room like a fool. Now I'm just doing my Happy Dance:

One at a time, I'm gonna do it!

Weigh in - 01/31/11
Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)
Today's weight: 149.4lbs

9 down, x to go. I'm more fluid on where I want to be, it should really be about feeling comfortable in my skin rather than a number on a scale; for now though, that's the way I'm using to measure my progress. I'm working my way there, slowly but surely. The weight loss has slowed down some and I feel like I'm hitting a plateau, but incorporating exercise in should do the trick. Eventually...

Today marks 25 days on the program, I should get a chip or something ;)

Drumrolls please

Weigh in - 01/24/11
Initial weight: 158.4lbs (01/06/11)
Today's weight: 150.4lbs

I have lost 5% of my initial weight, yay! At first I thought "just 5% percent? That's nothing! *insert sad face*" But then it hit me, I don't have 95% more to lose cause then I wouldn't exist; that put things in perspective. Going by a rough calculation I want to lose about 25% of my original weight so guess who's 1/5th of the way there? This chick! Woohoohoo!!!

Getting to know Ana

Day 13 and still going strong. As of my last official weigh in (yesterday), I am down 5.6lbs. I am, however, not eating enough. I am managing to stay within my points, but some days I stay well below them and that's not healthy. I'm noticing decreased appetite (which could be a side effect of a migraine prevention medication I'm on) and also fullness after a very small meal. I'm still happy about that last bit though, hehe.

My roommate asked -repeatedly- that I calculate how many calories I'm consuming since I only look at carbs, fats, proteins and fibers for WW and I was surprised to see that there have been days that I have consumed less than 900 calories. That is nowhere near enough calories! That could explain the migraines, maybe? I consume an average of 1200-1300 calories a day, which isn't bad, but I really shouldn't dip below 1200 on any given day.

But then I hear this little voice in the back of my head, murmuring how "a moment on a lips is a lifetime on the hips"or some other crazy Pro Ana saying I've read numerous times. It's crazy thinking, and I know this. But ooh am I teetering on the edge here... this is dangerous territory. I am getting stronger in not succumbing to my cravings and that makes me feel powerful. It's crazy how the mind (my mind) works.

I'll use this week to screw my head on straight and provide a detailed progress report on my next weigh in day (01/24).

Until then, I hope you do enjoy my rantings and bear with me.

The Good. The Bad. The PAIN!

The Good

I've lost almost 4lbs since I started on the plan. On weigh in day (Monday) I was down almost 2lbs, and being that I'm me, I've gotten on the scale every day since and seen a whole pound disappear every morning. I really should stop weighing myself every day, fat chance "/. My stomach seems to be shrinking, I feel full with a much smaller amount of food than I did before I started on the program and that makes me immensely happy.

The Bad
Honestly, I don't see anything bad yet, per se. Sure it can be time-consuming and troublesome at times to find the nutritional information for everything so I can log it, but it's for my benefit so that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's all about how you look at it. I'm on day 7 and still going strong, I thought I'd have caved in by day 3 to be honest. Pessimist at heart here.

The PAIN!
I needed a section for this, I have been getting an insane amount of migraines! I've suffered from them for years, and I started this new treatment that was helping but I have noticed that since I changed my diet my head is going nuts. I don't know if I'm eating enough calories since I don't track them, and I know it's possible to get caffeine withdrawal migraines so that could be part of the problem too. I hope once my body gets used to this new regime they'll ease up. In the meantime I'm trying to eat something every 2-3 hours to avoid a hunger migraine.

When did I get this old, sick and fat? I can't do anything about the aging part, but I sure as hell will fight the rest.

I can do it.

Operation Beautiful

I came across this wonderful site called Operation Beautiful, "Transforming the way you see yourself one post-it note at a time." I fell in love with the concept, here is an excerpt of their mission:

"The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.”  If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is  — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically"

Isn't it genius? I am constantly working on being positive to myself and this idea of sharing it anonymously with strangers makes it more powerful because as I let go of the negative I can take some people along with me, out of the dark and into that beautiful place of acceptance of oneself.

I posted the note below in the office bathroom (spoiler for coworkers following this blog, oops!). It's plain and pretty generic but it's a good message and I hope it reaches at least one person, a smile brought to a face will suffice.

Stay beautiful!

Points Points Points!

I've been on the WW PointsPlus program for four days and so far I'm doing pretty good! I'm a little surprised since I have this nagging habit of quitting everything... I may be speaking too soon but I'm feeling good.

Here's how the program's been playing out for me. I have a 29 points/day allowance, as well as 49 extra points to consume throughout the week, if needed.

*Updated 01/10/11
Day 1 - 31 points ~ 47 extra points remaining
Day 2 - 25 points ~ happy dance
Day 3 - 35 points ~ 41 extra points remaining
Day 4 - 19 points ~ *not nearly enough points but I went to bed relatively early and on a sloshing stomach full of water.

* One more thing I'm noticing is that I'm craving salt, something must be lacking in my diet. Granted all I'm doing is reducing the amount I eat, of the same usual garbage for the most part. I'm gonna start taking a daily vitamin today, maybe that'll help.

I went a little overboard on Saturday but it was the weekend and I did REALLY good considering the damage I would have normally done. I went out to eat several times and made healthier choices and counted everything. Cheating on the food log won't hurt anyone but myself and I don't want to do that. I even enjoyed a cocktail or two! ;)

There's something I kept telling myself all weekend and it definitely helped:

It's all mind over matter, I got this!

The time is NOW

It turns out that WeightWatchers has a much better deal online than my job was offering (they were offering a deal on live sessions plus online tools). I took the plunge, I joined the plan today and I am pumped! I'll probably go a little nuttier at first converting everything to points, just until I get the hang of it. But I am ready!

What's the time?!

=D

Signing up for support

My job is offering a deal on WeightWatchers PointsPlus, for a reasonably low amount I get to enjoy the program for 12 weeks. We had the informational meeting this morning and I signed up for it. I'm nervous, excited, second-guessing myself and antsy to get started all at once. Start date is January 19th.

I will be allowed to consume 29 "points" per day, I will learn more about this points program and how it works once the sessions start but from what I gathered today it seems that calories aren't calculated into it, only proteins, carbs, fats and fibers. There's a calculator I can get to help convert foods to points but -of course- there's an app for that!

I felt self-conscious when I looked at the spokesperson's Dining Out booklet and saw that my occasional breakfast alone is about 20 points. Oops "/. Also, she said for my height the highest weight recommended is 138lbs (big oops) and the lowest 108lbs. They'll give me a goal weight once we get started.

I'll try anything, to put it bluntly. This seems like a not-so-drastic step to take, maybe I'll learn a thing or two and hell, maybe I'll even shed a pound or two as well! I can't wait to get started!

Food here, food there, food everywhere!

I read an article today from the Success Stories section on Calorie Count (caloriecount.com). The girl, Lexi, managed to lose 122lbs after she started counting calories, limiting the amount of calories consumed per day and then eventually cleaning up her diet from there. I found her story inspiring.

That sounds like a very doable plan for me, being that every attempt at dieting has failed in the past for me. I seem to get flustered if I suddenly start trying to change up what I'm comfortable eating. I prefer quality vs. quantity when eating, meaning I want to like what I'm eating more than to eat a whole lot. Granted there usually is a lot of food so I end up eating a lot anyway but if I had to choose I will always pick something I find delicious rather than something more substantial.

I have started logging everything I eat, and trying to count calories. I say trying because sometimes I just don't want to get the calorie count on that baked ziti or french toast bagel. Knowing that I'm holding myself accountable is helping some though, I'll think twice before binging because I won't cheat myself and will have to write it down. I have all sorts of apps for that on my phone but right now I'm going retro and keeping my journal on a notebook I keep with me at all times.

I'm finding it challenging to avoid certain foods, as every social event/gathering seems to revolve around food. Be it a holiday celebration, baby shower or coworker farewell (and the <bleeping> holidays!); food is everywhere. Which is fine if I knew how to exercise moderation, but I'm not there yet and would rather avoid temptation for the time being.

Next up is finding a daily caloric limit to reach and stay at... Hm, I will look into that and update later tonight!

*Alright I did some research and got a range of numbers, but it looks like 1300-1500 would be acceptable depending on how much exercise I get in. 1500 will be the most realistic right now so I will try to stick to that. Let's do it! :)

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Full story: Happier Than I've Ever Been